My life, from depression to cycling the world !!

There I was happily married, content with life. I had a beautiful wife, my own business, good friends, BMW’s on the drive and a home that we were comfortable in, your regular suburban dream !!

It didn’t last, my business failed, my wife and I separated and finally divorced, the cars were replaced by cheaper models and although I ended up with the house it required three lodgers just so I could afford to stay there, it was now a business and not a home !

Slowly but surely and without even knowing what was happening I became depressed, I lost some friends, I pushed others away, I worked like an automaton, I had no self worth and my life was like living under a black cloud. My first thought every morning was ” oh no not again ” it meant that I had to endure another day and believe me the days felt endless !!

During this time I have to admit to trying to take my own life, several times in fact and at least once it resulted in a hospital stay, if I hadn’t been such a coward I would not be here! At the time though it felt like another failure, something else I’d fucked up, how could I be so bloody useless that I couldn’t even kill myself !!

When I look back now I realise just how lucky I was, I had some friends that just wouldn’t give up on me. They started a film club, every week at my house they would turn up and we’d all watch a film, sometimes I just wanted them to leave but I couldn’t be that rude, other times I did enjoy it and there was always a bit of time at the end, they’d ask how I was, what I was doing. I’d tell them about getting to work and bursting into tears or running out of the pub with a panic attack and hiding for days, I told them about lying to my boss about taking time off work because I just couldn’t face it !

Slowly though their efforts started to have an effect, I told them I wanted to sell the house and go traveling. As soon as I realised this my life had meaning again, they helped me to work out how to get to where I needed to be.

In the meantime another event helped to shape my future even more, a friend offered me a ticket for the St George’s day rugby match at Twickenham, this was 2010 and although I wasn’t overly excited, this being my normal state I agreed to go with him. Now at the time I was a heavy smoker, I drank a lot but never to the point of being drunk, I liked to remain in control . And I was fat, really fat at least by my standards, I was nineteen stone and looked bloated, a bit like a beached whale !

Anyway, someone pointed out that you can’t smoke on the trains, tubes or at the ground, I left my cigarettes at home, the match…. I don’t remember nor do I remember getting there or back, what I do remember was being pleased to have survived the day without a cigarette !

I got through the next day, then the week and very quickly the idea formed that I could give up, well I did, two and a half years ago I had my last cigarette ! That was a catalyst for me, an eye opener, I’d managed to get something right but I also knew that if I stopped smoking I’d put on weight. I got out of the shower a few days later, I looked in the mirror and a big fat bloated man looked back at me, I was disgusted, this wasn’t me….I wanted to change !

In my garage was a bicycle, I bought it off a friend years ago, I only had it because he needed money and it was all he had to sell. I’d never used it but I went down to my garage, pumped up the tyres, dusted it down and adjusted the seat and without any thought other than I needed to lose weight I set off. I cycled to Reading and back, 50 miles, I hurt, I was knackered but I did it. Soon I was cycling frequently, going further, I bought a better bike and my friends started coming with me.

Then the winter came and cycling stopped, all the good feelings started to drain away, I needed to do something else so I started running. My first run in the winter of 2010 was about 200 yards but I kept going and very soon a friend and I had entered a 10k event. We trained and finally the day arrived and we lined up near the back, the race started and we ran, we overtook people, we felt great and when we finished we were in the top 200, we were amazed that with so little training that we could do so well, we carried on running and cycling, we entered events for both.

In the meantime I’d put my house on the market, I was going to travel !!
More of my friends got involved in running and cycling, we joined bootcamp classes and circuit training, we finally cycled 100 miles in a day, we ran our first half marathon, we did duathlons, multi sport events and finally in may 2012 my mate and I ran the Edinburgh marathon, me in 4hrs 8mins, I was delighted.

My house finally sold and I moved in with another friend. Back in 2011 a friend and I cycled from London to Paris with a group, all for charity. One of the people kept reading about my completed challenges on Facebook and would occasionally suggest things for me and my friends to do, one day she posted about the Global Bike Race, I checked it out but after reading it I decided it wasn’t for me, but I was interested in cycling round the world. I looked online and found The World Cycle Challenge, I read up on it, emailed the organisers about some reservations I had but I knew I wanted to do it and eventually I paid my deposit. I started training even harder, the WCC had a Facebook page where we could all discuss our training and get to know each other before we met, it was great, just what I needed, a way to see the world and cycle, I was very happy !!

Unfortunately my happiness didn’t last, the organisers decided that there just wasn’t enough interest to make it a viable proposition, we all got a phone call to say it had been cancelled….I can only speak for myself but it felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach, I was gutted. We all got our money back fairly quickly and I knew that I still wanted to get out there and do something. I posted on the WCC Facebook page that I still had the time, money and inclination and was anyone else up for it, one person came back and said yes !!
She lives in Edinburgh, very useful in May when we ran the Marathon as I got to meet her for the third time !

We or to be honest mainly her, planned our trip and finally left for Seattle on July 7th 2012, bear in mind that we’d only met four times before we got to the airport !!

Since then we’ve cycled down the Pacific coast from Seattle to San Francisco, 600 miles round Japan, a quick layover in Hong Kong to do some sight seeing, cycled round the Annapurna circuit in Nepal, a month in Rahjastan and a month in southern India. We arrived home on December 8th 2012 after about 4000 miles or so and we’re now ready for our next tour, Cairo to Capetown. We leave on January 6th 2013 and will hopefully be back in late May. We’re not doing Africa on our own as its dangerous, the company organising this trip is called Tour D,’Afrique and because its their show we will need to cycle at their pace, it works out at about 86 miles a day !!

Even when we get back in May we already have plans to go to Europe, South East Asia, New Zealand and Australia, money permitting !

It’s amazing to think back now to the person I was two and a half years ago and see how far I’ve come, some very good friends, a little luck, a new found determination and exercise !

When I finish travelling I’d like to use my experiences to try and help motivate or encourage people who feel like I did, to show them that things can change and that life can be better, I’m not suggesting that everyone should go and cycle round the world but to have some sort of goal isn’t a bad thing and exercise and fresh air are free and it certainly wouldn’t hurt to turn off the TV and have a go !!

Advertisements

About John Chevis

I'm a forty something single guy who spent far to long depressed, but luckily for me I found an answer in the form of exercise !! I started running and cycling on a regular basis and now two and a half years later I'm cycling the world !!
This entry was posted in Anxiety, Depression, Exercise and Depression, Panic attacks, world cycle tour. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to My life, from depression to cycling the world !!

  1. bikemind says:

    proud. that’s all. glad you decided to bike the globe with a complete stranger. been ok so far!

  2. eddie tucker says:

    A very touching read John. I think when you finish your adventure around the world and come home you will be able to help a lot of people with your insight and achievements. I have read most of your blogs from when you started and they have been some good reading. I hope the rest of your trip goes well and will see you when you get back.

    Eddie

  3. Marilyn Elliott says:

    That made some amazing reading John and I must compliment you on your writing skills not just in this article but in all your blogs from around the world. Thank goodness you made the decision to live life to the full and experience all the wonders of our world with your amazing companion Naomi. You are an inspiration to us all and I am blessed to have you as my friend . So looking forward to seeing you back in the UK. Meanwhile enjoy yourself and take care. Love Marilyn xx

    • John Chevis says:

      Thank you Marilyn, I was a bit worried about how this post would be received but I’ve only had positive comments so far and yours brought a tear to my eye.
      See you in June

  4. Sarah Fountain says:

    Awww!! John Chevis, you have achieved so much, you should be so proud, I am, and I am proud to be your friend! When you are rich and famous, don’t forget me hey!! keep dreaming, keep achieving… If you can dream it you can have it xx

    • John Chevis says:

      Trust me, I’ll never forget you, your part of my recovery and I am also proud to know you ! Glad you’ve managed to find happiness, you deserve it 😉 x

      • P. R. Bista says:

        Hi John,
        Your life story really touches my heart and I can say you are the role model for those who are on similar stage of depression. Similarly, you have done Round Annapurna with our company “Everest Mountain Bike” (with Rosan as your guide) and it was a successful trip. I appreciate for your complements on that trip and look forward your prosperity, good health and great future endeavor.
        We all remember you life long
        With best Regards
        Bista, Rosan and Shishir
        from Everest Mountain Bike, Thamel, Kathmandu, Nepal

      • John Chevis says:

        What kind words and how wonderful to know that you took the time to read my blog. I remember our trip with Rosan and still tell stories of waterfalls, landslides and river crossings !!
        Rosan was a superb guide and we both remember him fondly. I hope your all well and still doing good business !!
        My best wishes to you all 😉
        JC

  5. Julie says:

    I am so proud of you! I sensed something but never wished to ask. Cycling also helped me overcome depression, although I wasn’t suffering anywhere near as badly as you, or so it sounds. These stories inspire people and when it is all dark and it feels like there is nothing….. A little help , a kind voice, someone believing in you and wishing to spend time with you and patiently wait for you as you struggle to keep up can so hel the light come into your world. I had that and if one day I can give that gift to someone else I would be so proud and happy. Am sure that you will so be able to help someone. Cycling brought me so much happiness and joy and it helped me refined the balance I needed to enjoy life and appreciate the small things and just enjoy “being”. I am so glad to have met you. Thank you. Xxx

    • John Chevis says:

      I suppose it takes one to know one and we depressives can be devious little sods ! I know it will always be with me but I’m getting used to dealing with it and recognising the symptoms. It used to be that a good bike ride would put me back on track but I’ve cycled so much now, I need a bigger kick !!
      Keep cycling and keep being “you” 😉
      The pleasure is all mine !!
      JC

  6. Graham Lovell says:

    Hi John. I have read your thoughts and have felt many myself. The world has changed and so have we, in your case for the better and for others god willing. Strength comes from within with help from the outside world. What a great place we live on a world of diverse cultures and sights, too many for even me to venture too but even a small taste is better than not at all. Love your blogs mate, keep those positive thoughts coming! Graham

    • John Chevis says:

      Hello matey, great to hear from you as always. Your comments are always welcome and insightful. I hope you get the opportunity to travel more as I know how much you love it. I’m very lucky to be in the position I’m in and I don’t take it lightly. My blogs are for others to live vicariously through my travels as much as to remind me of them when I’m much older.
      Take care my friend and I’ll see you in June
      JC

  7. Kev says:

    What at great story mate. You show others that if you just decide, you really can change your life. It goes to show that every human has the power at any given time to change the way their life story is going to end!! PS: that lovely lady has come into your life for a reason. Something to think about 😉

  8. Ivana Cervignano italia says:

    Ciao John ho letto TT.il tuo bloc ti auguro tanta serenità con un grande abbraccio a te e Naomi Ivana

    • John Chevis says:

      ciao Ivana, bello sentire da voi e bello sapere che leggete il mio blog, io dico ciao a Naomi per voi. Tu e Paolo buona salute e felicità auguro, dire Ciao a Gianluca

  9. Ross Irwing says:

    Hi John
    Before I met you guys up the Fluer I had only done a little cycling and running but since then im running and cycling loads ive done 4 events this year already and thats alot down to you, so you have changed my life for the better already.
    take care
    Ross

    • John Chevis says:

      You’ve done well Ross but it’s not down to me, it’s down to you, you put in the effort and now your reaping the benefits. Four events this year, I assume all running events, any cycle events lined up yet ?

  10. Ross Irwing says:

    Yes all running so far, Brutal 10k penciled in for 26th April if all goes well

  11. Pingback: John | Bold-souls.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s